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Words with Nigel

The definitive guide to Nigel Hayes’ press conference vocabulary

The world has fallen in love with Nigel Hayes, about as quickly as he fell in love with stenographer Debra Bollman during a press conference on Thursday.

Hayes, who has been called the “X-Factor” for Wisconsin Basketball during the NCAA Tournament, has also proven to be quite the wordsmith…and jokester. Hayes, alongside teammates Frank Kaminsky and Sam Dekker, spent some time backstage late last week with stenographers from ASAP Sports. Needless to say, they were blown away by the stenographers’ ability to type at lightning-fast speeds—up to 300 words per minute.  “But seriously…” @BadgerMMB tweeted, “Have you ever seen the magical powers of a stenographer?”

Since then, Hayes has taken it upon himself to throw in as many $10 words as possible. When asked why, exactly, he has an affinity for sesquipedalian lexemes, Hayes stated that he read a lot as a child, and enjoyed looking up definitions. “I actually like words,” Hayes stated in a press conference. “It’s just fun to know words.”

With the Badgers clinching a spot in the Elite Eight and undoubtedly heading to more press conferences, we’re just guessing that we’ll hear plenty more GRE-worthy vocab words from Hayes. But, until then, here is the definitive list of words in the Nigelpedia:

antidisestablishmentarianism, n. Properly, opposition to the disestablishment of the Church of England (rare): but popularly cited as an example of a long word

catawampous, adj. slang (chiefly U.S.). Fierce, unsparing, destructive. Also, askew, awry. (A high-sounding word no very definite meaning.)
Derivatives: cata’wampus n. a bogy, a fierce imaginary animal.

con·trite, adj. feeling or showing sorrow and remorse for a sin or shortcoming

ex·pe·di·tious, adj. marked by or acting with prompt efficiency syn see FAST

im·pec·ca·ble, adj. 1: not capable of sinning or liable to sin     2: free from fault or blame : FLAWLESS

on·o·mato·poe·ia, n. 1: the naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound associated with it (as buzz, hiss)     2: the use of words whose sound suggests the sense

pul·chri·tude, n. physical comeliness

quan·da·ry, n. a state of perplexity or doubt

ses·qui·pe·da·lian, adj. 1: having many syllables : LONG     2: given to or characterized by the use of long words

so·lil·o·quy, n. 1: the act of talking to oneself     2: a dramatic monologue that represents a series of unspoken reflections

syz·y·gy, n. the nearly straight-line configuration of three celestial bodies (as the sun, moon, and earth during a solar or lunar eclipse) in a gravitational system

xy·lo·phone, n. a percussion instrument consisting of a series of wooden bars graduated in length to produce the musical scale, supported on belts of straw or felt, and sounded by striking with two small wooden hammers

zeph·yr, n. 1a: a breeze from the west     b: a gentle breeze     2: any of various lightweight fabrics and articles of clothing

What word do you want to see Nigel Hayes use in the next conference? Let us know @WisAlumni #Nigelpedia.

Photo credit- David Stluka/UW Athletic Communications

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