At first glance, you wouldn’t suspect Megyn Kelly the iguana needed rescuing from anything. But she’s a rescue nonetheless. Law professor Steph Tai found Megyn at Reptile Rescue when both needed saving: Megyn as the runt of her litter, Tai grief-stricken over the death of their previous iguana. Today, Megyn is content to indolently run the household. “She’s trained me help her be even lazier than she has to be,” says Tai. “Sometimes I’ll put food in her food bowl, and she’ll stick her tongue out as if to get the food, but she can’t quite reach. And at this point, I just move it closer to her.”
What kind of iguana is Megyn?
She’s the most common kind of iguana. The ones that are infesting Florida right now.
Where did she come from?
She’s a rescue iguana. Reptile Rapture is a store in town that just sells reptiles and amphibians and the occasional tarantula. [Megyn] was the runt of the litter, and the previous owner couldn’t take care of the iguanas anymore. They were not getting fed enough [and] didn’t have enough heat. And when I walked in there, I was really depressed. [The store owner] knew that I was an experienced iguana caretaker, and so, since she was a runt and had some skin issues, they felt like it was okay to trust me with her.
How old is she?
That was 2015, so now she’s 11 years old. She was two years old then — not a baby, but very small for two years.
Any pet peeves?
I put a brown wig on her once, and dressed her up, and called her Megyn Thee Iguana, after Megan Thee Stallion. But she didn’t like it. Iguanas don’t like when you put costumes on them.
So costumes are one of Megyn’s pet peeves. Any others?
Cold. She doesn’t like the cold. She doesn’t like being petted too much.
What does she do when she’s angry or annoyed?
You can tell if you’re annoying her because she will close the eye on the side of her head where you are and keep the other eye open. It’s like she doesn’t want to look at you anymore.
What does she like?
She likes fruit. … Megyn has a sweet tooth. She’ll pretty much only eat fruit. And dandelions.
Does Megyn have any favorite tricks?
Just sitting there. She likes to bask. Iguanas don’t really do all that much.
Where’s her favorite basking spot?
Under her heat lamp. She likes the lamp more than natural light because it’s warmer. She also likes the kitchen, because it gets warm in the afternoon.
What’s her personality like?
She was very traumatized when I first got her — because of being bullied, I guess, by the rest of the iguanas in the litter. She’s come a long way since then.
If Megyn were a student, what would she study?
Probably solar energy. Or heating systems. Or fruit. She might be some kind of botanist.
If Megyn were in the yearbook, what award would she win?
Derpiest. Derpy is internet slang for goofy, specifically for lolling their tongues out. I think she is legitimately derpy. There’s a reason why. Her tongue is, I think, too long for her mouth. I had to get her tongue clipped once because she kept biting on it and bleeding. But I think it’s grown back.
