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Eat Like a Freshman: Deviled Cheese Bites

These spicy cheese bites don’t quite cut the mustard.

Ingredients

Thin pretzels are “picks” you can eat this with.

  • 3 oz. package of cream cheese, softened
  • 2 oz. blue cheese, crumbled (1/2 cup)
  • 2¼ oz. can deviled ham
  • ¼ cup chopped pecans
  • ½ cup snipped parsley
  • Several drops of onion juice

Instructions

Blend cream cheese, blue cheese, deviled ham, pecans, and onion juice. Chill. Shape into small balls. Roll in parsley and chill until served. Serve with pretzel sticks. Makes two dozen.

Substitutions:

I took several liberties with this recipe. First off, I went with a tub of ham salad from a deli as opposed to a can of deviled ham. Canned meat is off-putting at best, and deviled ham looked similar enough to ham salad. Thus, I went with the refrigerated meat option. After more research, I decided to add a touch of Dijon mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and hot sauce to the ham salad mix. Since “deviling” in the culinary world means adding hot and spicy condiments, it seems deviled ham is simply ham salad’s spicy cousin.

I also used walnuts instead of pecans because I already had some at home. Last, to my surprise, when I Googled “onion juice,” an actual product came up: a five-ounce bottle of Howard’s Onion Juice. I’m not sure if the author of this recipe meant for me to use something like this, but I opted for a freshly chopped onion and squeezed out some drops.

Review

This recipe for deviled cheese bites came from the New Dames Cookbook, published by the University Dames Club in 1974. At the time of choosing and testing this recipe, the price of eggs was eye-watering, and I thought cheese bites might be worth a try in lieu of the traditional deviled egg for the upcoming Easter season.

They’re not.

The bites weren’t that bad. You get saltiness from the ham and blue cheese, crunchiness from the walnuts and a pretzel utensil, plus creaminess from the, well, cream cheese. The parsley coating is almost overpowering, but it provides some relief from all the salt and dairy.

I think my main complaint is the ham. Whether it comes from a can or a refrigerator, there’s still something a little off about a pastel-pink meat-and-cheese ball. I’d personally either opt for a deviled ham (salad) sandwich or a traditional meat-free cheese ball. Devilish or not, there’s no need to mash the two together into some sort of unholy alliance.

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